Sling Shot

(parody of "Big Shot" by Billy Joel)
New lyrics by Mike Fischer

The Story: the idea for this one hit me right out of the blue; I was actually trying to think of a Bruce Springsteen song I could parody, but this one came to me instead. When you sing it, be sure to pronounce "Philistines" so it rhymes with "deans," not with "pines."


Well, you went up, down, lookin’ for the Philistines
Bringin’ wine and chow to your bro’s.
You were the anointed one in the plan, and it’s you that He chose.
But they’re taking up a warning from your bro Eliab -
“It’s the fight this cub came to see.”
And you’ll be fighting Goliath, he’s done eventually.

Because you had to use a sling shot, did you? You had to go and cause a rout.
You had to use a sling shot, did you? Now your foe is so knocked out.
You had to trust the Lord’s word, that’s right; it’s not what Israel’s king’s about.
You had to do the fight with God’s might, you had to use a sling shot, that’s right.

They were all depressed from the giant’s threats
And the people, they were too afraid.
But you were sure the Lord would give you success, you sent a stone and he’s brained.
So now you just go behead him with his own sharp edge,
And you’ve fought true; they’re gonna go.
I’ll tell you one thing, Davey, that Saul sure looks like a shmoe.

Because you had to use a sling shot, did you? You had to prove you had no doubt.
You had to use a sling shot, did you? Now your foe is so knocked out.
You had to trust the Lord’s word, that’s right, with just five stones all smooth and round.
You had to take the front lines, a bold type, you had to use a sling shot, that’s right.

Wo-oh-oh oh-a-oh-a-ohh. Wo-oh-oh oh-a-oh-a-ohh
Wo-oh-oh oh-a-oh-a-ohh. Wo-oh-oh oh-a-oh-a-ohh

Well, it ain’t no sin to stick a giant’s skin with a hole you made with a stone
Because the Lord he defied; the Philistines say it’s time to go home.
Go, go, go, go, go, go!

You had to use a sling shot, did you? You had to go and cause a rout.
You had to use a sling shot, did you? Now your foe is so knocked out.
You had to trust the Lord’s word, that’s right; it’s not what Israel’s king’s about.
You had to do the fight with God’s might, you had to use a sling shot, that’s right.

Wo-oh-oh oh-a-oh-a-ohh. Wo-oh-oh oh-a-oh-a-ohh
Wo-oh-oh oh-a-oh-a-ohh. Wo-oh-oh oh-a-oh-a-ohh

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