Hack & Sack New Jersey

Copyright 2001 by Michael Fischer
Last revised: 09/05/2002

I. Scenario

They didn’t have much to fight with. The federal government refused to intervene, because the Krylons’ green cards were all in order. The National Guard could help, if they could mobilize in time. Some of the state’s more militant citizens needed no encouragement to take up arms against the alien invaders. And a mad scientist in Newark (every cheesy sci-fi story needs a mad scientist) figured out how to turn pleasure boats and junk cars into impromptu spacecraft. But the aliens had big advantages in firepower and mobility.

On the plus side, the Krylons didn’t bring much of their advanced technology to bear. Their code of honor forced them to fight at the level of their intended victims, and they turned to the New Jersey media to determine what that level should be. Luckily, the Krylons’ cable TV had been cut off due to a billing error; they could only get one channel on their TV sets, and that channel was running a barbarian-movie festival that day. So the alien spaceships began disgorging their equivalents of Cossacks and Roman legions, thinking them adequate for the task of subduing the Garden State.

Boy, were they in for a shock.

II. Victory conditions

1. For every unit destroyed in combat, the winner receives victory points (VP’s) equal to the Attack strength of the destroyed units. This may equal zero for some units. If this bothers you, then don’t attack those units, okay?
2. For each city occupied by a Krylon land unit at the end of the Jerseyite combat phase, the Krylons receive one VP.
3. For each city that is unoccupied by any land unit, or occupied by a Jerseyite unit, at the end of the Jerseyite combat phase, the Jerseyites receive one VP.
4. Keep track of each player’s VP’s on the VP Tracks, using sliders.
5. At the end of 15 turns, the player with the most VP’s is the winner. If the VP count is a tie, the Jerseyite player is considered the winner. Anyone demanding a recount will be required to wear a scarlet W (for "Whiner") for the rest of the day.
6. If, at the end of any Jerseyite Combat Phase, the Krylons occupy all of the cities on the map, the game is over; the Krylons have won an overwhelming victory, and the Jerseyites are handed a humiliating defeat. The Krylon player earns bragging rights for a maximum of thirty days.

III. Units

A. Unit Types

B. Unit Characteristics

• The first number is Attack strength, used for aggressive combat. A unit with an Attack strength of 0 cannot attack other units.
• The second number is Defend strength, used for defensive combat.
• The third number is Move, used for running away from combat.
• The letter at the end is L for land unit, W for water unit, or S for space unit.

C. Unit Stacking

D. Facing

E. Spaceship Loading and Unloading

If a spaceship is destroyed while carrying units, those units are also destroyed.

To load units, they must be adjacent to the spaceship, they must have at least one MP remaining, and the spaceship must have room for them on board. Place the units under the spaceship; they’re loaded.

To unload units, place them in any hex adjacent to the spaceship, as long as no other unit is in that hex. This uses one MP.

IV. The Krylon units

1. Legion: these are Roman-type foot soldiers, armed with javelins and swords and Marvin-the-Martian helmets. They look a bit silly marching up the New Jersey Turnpike, but try not to laugh.
2. Samurai: these are fierce armored warriors whose words are never in sync with their lip movements.
3. Phalanx: this is a Greek-style defensive formation, armed with long spears. A good way to make them mad is to pronounce it "fail-anx" (they prefer "fah-lanx").
4. Cossacks: these are lightly-armed cavalry formations wearing funny-looking fur hats.
5. Chariot: chariots are fast, hard-hitting war machines. The Krylons choose their best Charlton Heston look-alikes to drive them.
6. Catapult: these are Medieval-style rock lobbers. They can attack a target two hexes away.
7. Centurion: Centurions give adjacent Krylon units an advantage in battle. They do this by making inspiring speeches about Quality, Synergy, and Vision Statements, which makes the Krylon warriors fight frantically to get away from the Centurion. Krylon land units next to a Centurion attack and defend on the column of the combat table that is one better than the actual odds. For example, if the combat odds are 1 in favor of the Krylons, and a Krylon Centurion is next to one of the Krylon combat units, the Krylons will attack or defend at 2. If a Centurion is loaded into a Star Frigate, he gives his leadership benefit to the Frigate, but not to any other adjacent units. The effects of more than one Centurion are not cumulative. Centurions cannot give their leadership benefit if they are Confused.
8. Trireme: this is an oared galley with a single square sail, built for ramming other ships. When the Krylons found out that they had to deal with the battleship New Jersey, they quickly replaced the triremes’ bronze ramming beaks with shaped-charge spar torpedoes, enabling them to do some damage to their better-armed enemy.
9. Longship: the crews of these square-sailed wooden ships wear Minnesota Vikings helmets and are all named Sven. A longship can attack water units, or adjacent land units.
10. Star Frigate: these space-going ships can attack only other spaceships. They can carry up to four Krylon units each. This gives the Krylon forces a great advantage in mobility – their entire force is air-mobile. Star Frigates follow the standard rules for loading and unloading units (see Section III C). These are the only Krylon units that cannot be replaced if they are destroyed.

V. The Jerseyite units

1. Guard Infantry: if the Jerseyites can hold out long enough, their National Guard units can mobilize and take the fight to the enemy. At the beginning of Turn 8, for each city that is free of Krylons, the New Jersey player can place one Guard Infantry unit in or adjacent to that city.
2. NRA Unit: The National Rifle Association has been warning people for years about the need for unrestricted gun ownership as a safeguard against invasion. Well, it really happened, and the NRA is making the most of it. An NRA unit consists of a handful of gunmen, armed to the teeth and ready to defend their neighborhood to the death.
3. Bikers: Almost all motorcyclists are law-abiding citizens. But for some, the "biker attitude" is a force that needs to be held in check. And when the governor declared open season on aliens, those wild bikers needed no encouragement. Biker gangs serve as lightly-armed cavalry, roaring around loudly in search of battle, babes, and beer, in no particular order.
4. Hopat Cong: These are Jerseyite guerrilla soldiers, excelling at hit-and-run sneak attacks. Once every 3 turns, during the New Jersey player’s movement phase, he/she may place 1-2 Hopat Cong units anywhere on the land map – they seem to come from nowhere. After combat is resolved, if the Hopat Cong are still alive, they are removed from the map to blend in with the citizenry again. If they are destroyed, they will be back in three turns anyway, having recruited more fighters from the general population.
5. Lawyer: Everybody hates lawyers, and the Krylons are no exception. Any Krylon unit adjacent to a Lawyer must attack the Lawyer, even if this means ignoring more dangerous Jerseyite units. If more than one Lawyer is next to a Krylon unit, the Krylon player can choose which one he wants to attack. Lawyers obviously have a short life expectancy in combat, but hey, no big loss.
   Special rule: if the Krylon player wishes to do a victory dance after killing a Lawyer, the dance must be evaluated by the game judges for originality and imagination. A low score means the player must stay in his/her seat for the rest of the game. Taunting is a privilege, not a right.
6. Accountant: These insanely dull professionals can be useful on the battlefield. They love to tell the aliens about actuarial tables, capital depreciation, and the Federal Reserve system, which leaves the Krylons in a bored stupor, unfit for combat. Any Krylon land unit adjacent to an Accountant must attack and defend on the column of the Combat Table that is one worse than the actual odds. For example, if the combat odds are 1 in favor of the Krylons, but an Accountant is next to the Krylon unit, then the Krylon unit attacks defends at -1. Accountants have no impact on water or space units. The effects of more than one Accountant are not cumulative, for which we can all be thankful. Accountants and Krylon Centurions cancel each other’s effects out.
7. Bruce Springsteen: He came from Asbury Park, dancing in the dark, to help repel the aliens. His very presence inspires all Jerseyites to fight harder. Jerseyite land units next to Bruce attack and defend on the column of the combat table that is one better than the actual odds. For example, if the combat odds are -1 in favor of the Krylons, but Bruce is next to one of the Jerseyite combat units, the Jerseyites will attack or defend at 1 in their favor. If Bruce is loaded into a space cruiser, he gives his leadership benefit to the cruiser, but not to any other adjacent units. He cannot give his leadership benefit if he is Confused. Bruce and Krylon Centurions cancel each other's effects out; if Bruce, a Centurion, and an Accountant are all influencing the same battle, only the Accountant's effect works. Bruce has a higher-than-average Movement rating, because he's born to run.
8. Senator: One of New Jersey’s two Senators is touring the battle zone on a junket, and is offering his unique talents to the war effort until he can find a baby that’s willing to be kissed. Senators have no Attack, but they have a high Defend rating, due to their congressional immunity. They also have the ability to thwart enemy progress, using filibusters and red tape. A Krylon land unit adjacent to a Senator cannot move unless:
   1. the Senator is killed or moves away
   2. the Krylon unit is forced to retreat as a result of combat
   3. a Star Frigate loads the Krylon unit and takes it away from the Senator (subject to the other rules on loading spaceships).
9. Jersey cow: This mild-mannered beast isn’t technically part of the Jerseyite defenses. The Jerseyite player can’t control where she moves; instead, she wanders around randomly, as though she were permanently Confused (see the section on "Confused Units"). But if she winds up next to a Krylon unit during the Jerseyite Movement Phase, she will attack the weakest enemy unit during the Combat Phase. The Krylons can attack her at will, assuming they have nothing better to do than go cow-tipping. The Jersey cow is too dim to be Confused in combat; treat this combat result as "no result." Bruce Springsteen cannot give her a leadership benefit. The Krylon player scores no VP’s for destroying the Jersey cow. Hey, your warriors get a steak dinner out of the deal; don’t get greedy.
10. USS New Jersey: This proud old battleship, converted into a floating museum, was quickly turned back into a warship when the invasion began. Her modern missile weapons had long since been removed, but the big guns still work. New Jersey can hit land or water targets up to three hexes away, and can ignite "does the Navy still need battleships" debates from anywhere on the map.
11. Space Cruiser: A local mad scientist (he’d have to be mad, choosing Newark as the place for his secret lab) has found a way to fuel old wooden cabin cruisers with a mixture of vodka and tequila. This mix could put anybody into orbit, and it certainly worked with the old boats. Armed with Super Soaker squirtguns shooting the same potent brew that fuels them, they have been transformed into flimsy but functional spaceships. Space Cruisers can attack only other space units. They can carry one Jerseyite land unit, excluding Guard Infantry units (which are too big) and the Jersey cow (which prefers to jump over the moon without help). Space Cruisers follow the standard rules for loading and unloading units (see Section III C).
12. Space Escort: To help protect the Jerseyite space cruisers, the above-mentioned mad scientist tried his fuel mix in a few junked Ford Escort wagons, with similar results but better mileage. Space Escorts can only attack other space vessels. They are too small to load or unload other units.

VI. Playing the Game

All Jerseyite land units must start the game in, or adjacent to, a city hex. Space units must be placed on land hexes adjacent to water. The USS New Jersey must be placed on a water hex adjacent to a city hex. The Jersey cow can be placed on any land hex that is not a road, a city, or adjacent to a city. Guard Infantry and Hopat Cong units are not placed on the map at this time.

The Krylon player goes first.

Each game turn is divided into the following phases:

1. Reinforcement Phase: The Krylon player may place up to four land or water units (if he/she has any that aren't in use) on each of the four Landing Pads. These units cannot move off the Landing Pads; they can only be loaded into a Star Frigate. On turn #8, for each city that has no Krylon units in it, the Jerseyite player may place one Guard Infantry unit in or adjacent to that city. If there is no free hex to place a Guard unit, the Jerseyites get no Guard unit for that city. Nanny nanny boo boo.

   Note that, if a Krylon land or water unit has been destroyed, it can be reused by putting it onto a Landing Pad during this phase. Except for the Hopat Cong guerrillas, the Jerseyite player cannot reuse units; anything that gets destroyed is gone forever. If the Krylon player has less than two Star Frigates, he/she can bring one back; otherwise, the Star Frigates can't be reused.

   Also during this phase, one player (it doesn't matter which one) rolls two dice to define the conditions in the state, according to the State of the State Table. As soon as conditions on this table change, the previous conditions no longer apply. Keep track of conditions on the Conditions Track. If the conditions specify a specific action, take the action immediately. Do not repeat the action unless the same condition is rolled again next turn. Don't take the action again if the new condition is "nothing changes."

2. Krylon Movement Phase: the Krylon player moves all the units he/she wishes to move, subject to the movement rules. The Krylons may load or unload units from their Star Frigates at this time.

3. Krylon Unit Recovery Phase: the Krylon player may try to recover units that are Confused. For each unit with a Confused marker on it, roll a d6. If the roll is 3 or less, the unit is recovered and the Confused marker is removed.

4. Krylon Combat Phase: wherever a Krylon unit is adjacent to a Jerseyite unit it can attack, it must do so. Resolve battles using the Combat Rules.

5. Jerseyite Movement Phase: the Jerseyite player moves all the units he/she wishes to move, subject to the movement rules. The Jerseyites may load or unload units from their space cruisers at this time. When this is done, if it is a third turn (the turn number is evenly divisible by 3), the Jerseyite may place 1-2 Hopat Cong units anywhere on the map.

6. Jerseyite Unit Recovery Phase: the Jerseyite player may try to recover units that are Confused. For each unit with a Confused marker on it, roll a d6. If the roll is 3 or less, the unit is recovered and the Confused marker is removed.

7. Jerseyite Combat Phase: wherever a Jerseyite unit is adjacent to a Krylon unit it can attack, it must do so. Resolve battles using the Combat Rules. When finished, remove any Hopat Cong counters that are on the map.

8. VP Tallying Phase: count the cities that are occupied by Krylons, and the cities that aren't, and assign victory points as described in Section II.

VII. Movement Rules

Zone of Control: All units exert a Zone of Control (ZOC) in all hexes directly adjacent to themselves. An enemy unit of the same type (land vs land, water vs water, or space vs space) that enters a unit’s ZOC cannot move any further that turn, even if it has movement points remaining. Units of differing type ignore each other’s ZOC.

Terrain: Land and Water hexes take 1 movement point to move into. Land units cannot move on water, and water units cannot move on land. Space units can move anywhere, treating all terrain types the same. The four Landing Pads represent the Krylons’ ships in orbit, and aren’t really part of the game map. No units may move there except Star Frigates and the Krylon units placed there during the Reinforcement Phase.

Roads: To enter a road hex, a land unit must roll 1, 2, or 3 on a d6 to get a break in traffic, and then use 1 movement point to enter the road hex. This applies whether the unit will stay on the road or is just crossing to the other side. If you fail to roll a 1, 2, or 3, the unit’s move is over for that turn. A land unit moving from a road hex to an adjacent road hex uses only ½ movement point, thus doubling the land unit’s moves as long as it stays on the road. There is no special rule for leaving a road, but if you forget to use your turn signal and get tail-ended, don’t come crying to me.

Cities: City hexes are counted as roads for movement purposes. Land units must roll for a break in traffic when entering a city from a non-road hex. Water units can freely enter a city that is adjacent to water.

Confused units: To move a Confused unit, roll a d6 and apply it to the Confused-Movement Table. If the indicated move is impossible due to map restrictions or the presence of another unit, the Confused unit stays where it is. Otherwise, it must move.

Confused units move only one hex per turn, regardless of how many movement points they are entitled to. If a Confused land unit tries to move onto a road, it must roll for a break in traffic as normal. Confused units do not gain the double-movement benefit if moving along a road. One hex per turn, that’s it.

VIII. Combat rules

All units adjacent to an enemy unit must attack somebody. Each player chooses which of his/her units will attack which of the enemy’s units. Multiple units can gang up on a single unit, or a strong unit can attack more than one enemy at once.

Obligatory exceptions:

• Units of unlike type cannot attack each other – for example, space units cannot attack land units.
• Extended-range units (units with a combat range of more than 1), without enemy units adjacent, can choose to attack or not attack. If an extended-range attack gives a result that affects the attacker in any way, treat it as a "no result."

For each battle:

1. Add up the Attack ratings of all units doing the attacking, and the Defense ratings of the unit(s) being attacked.
2. Divide the larger number by the smaller, and drop any remainder. If the Defense is greater, then make the result a negative number. This is called the combat odds.
3. Find the column of the Combat Results Table that corresponds to the combat odds. If the odds are lower than -3, use the "Worse" column; if higher than 5, use the "Better" column.
4. Adjust the column if necessary, as required by the presence of certain units (such as Krylon Centurions) that modify the combat column. Some of these units may cancel each others’ effects out. If this bothers you, take two M&M’s and call me in the morning.
5. Roll one d6. Players who habitually roll the dice onto the game board and scatter the counters may be penalized by having to play the whole game looking through the wrong end of a pair of binoculars.
6. If the defending unit is within a city hex, subtract 1 from the die roll (never less than 1).
7. Find the rolled number in the relevant column of the Combat Results Table and do what it says.

Example 1: A Krylon Samurai unit attacks a Jerseyite Bikers unit. The Krylon has an Attack of 2, and the Bikers have a Defend rating of 1. 2 divided by 1 equals 2, so the combat odds are 2.

Example 2: The same Krylon Samurai decides to attack a Jerseyite National Guard unit and the Jersey cow, all at once. The Guard has a Defend of 2, and the cow's Defend is 1, for a total of 3, so the Jersey side is stronger. 3 divided by 2 equals 1 (we drop the remainder), but because the defender is stronger, the combat odds are -1.

Ax or Dx -- Attacker/defender destroyed: remove the losing unit from the board. The winner gets one VP for each unit of Attack that the loser lost – that is, a unit with an Attack of 1 scores one VP for the force that destroyed it, while a unit with an Attack of 2 scores two VP’s.

A -1, -2 or D -1, -2 -- Attacker/defender retreat 1 or 2: the losing unit must move one or two hexes away from the winner. The losing player chooses where each losing unit will retreat to. A retreating unit can pass through a friendly unit while retreating, as long as it ends its retreat in an empty hex. If unable to do so because of map restrictions or the presence of other units, the retreating unit is destroyed, scoring VP's for the winner as described under "Defender/Attacker Destroyed." If the retreating unit is Confused, remove the "Confused" counter.

Ac or Dc -- Attacker/defender Confused: the losing unit has been whacked upside the head and is now running around in circles, making "whoop whoop" noises. Place a "Confused" counter on top of all affected units. If the losing unit is already Confused, this has no effect; don’t place another "Confused" counter.

-nr- -- No result: the battle is inconclusive. Leave all involved units where they are; they’ll play cards and brag about their amorous conquests until the next movement phase. Confused units remain Confused.

IX. Tables:

X. Disclaimers

1. It’s not my fault.
2. Your mileage may vary.
3. Past performance is no guarantee of future gain.
4. MSRP does not include tax, title, license, or much of anything, really.
5. And thank you very much, David Ferris, for helping me realize that a game doesn't have to be serious to be playable. [www.irvania.com]