Cadet-Captain Mike's Own Pirates Release

I've done my fair share of griping on the Pojo.com forums about the declining quality of each new Pirates release. Is there anything I can do about it? As long as WizKids won't hire me, probably not. But, purely as an exercise in applied wishful thinking, here's what I think a new Pirates release should look like.

All of this is obviously unofficial. I made it up as a labor of love, to gaze at longingly when a new Pirates release completely disappoints me. If you'd like to use any of my ideas for private use only, feel free. If you want to do something commercially, you'll have to clear it with WizKids, who owns all the copyrights and trademarks. If you want to argue over any of my ships or crew, save your breath - I'm not doing this to convince anyone of any particular detail. But I'd be glad to hear your comments on the set as a whole. Do you think this set is better or worse than other sets? Would you buy these ships if WizKids made a set like this?

And if, by some long shot, a person from WizKids is reading this, please look at what one person, working all by himself, could come up with. Then compare it to the past "real" release or two of Pirates. Think about what you could have done, and what you still could do, if you wanted to.

And now, on to the cards!

Pirates of the Cursed Seas - The Vengeance of the Cadet Captain
#FactionNamePtsMastsCargoSpeedCannonsAbilityLink
001CursedCaleuche1454L2S,2S,2L,2S,2SIf this ship isn't assigned a Helmsman crew, roll a d6 after she resolves a Move action. On a result of 4-6, this ship can move L.Captain Auric
002CursedJoyita812S+L2LL-range cannons cannot hit this ship..
003CursedCarroll Deering1344L3S,3S,3S,4LSchooner. Crew do not take up cargo spaces on this ship..
004CursedMoby Dick1430S+S3S,3S,2SSea monster. If this ship wins a boarding action, choose any two: eliminate a mast, kill a crew, steal a treasure. See note 1..
005CursedJian Seng1233S+S3S,4L,3SJunk. Ghost ship..
006CursedPoltergeist823S+L3L,3LOnce per turn, if this ship carries treasure and is within S of an enemy ship, you may randomly trade one treasure with that ship..
007CursedMary Celeste622S+S3S,3SOn the turn this ship is pinned, eliminate one crew from the pinning ship..
008CursedDemeter524L3S,3LThis ship cannot shoot when she carries treasure..
009CursedCaptain Auric5CrewCaptain. Once per turn, this ship can eliminate one non-unique treasure to gain an extra action.Caleuche
010CursedWendigo7CrewFear. Once per turn, one ship or crew within S cannot use its ability for that turn..
011aCursedJason Verhaase5CrewBoarder. This ship gets +1 to her boarding rolls.All Cursed ships
011bCursedFreddie Kroger4CrewAll non-Cursed ships get -1 to their cannon rolls against this ship..
012PiratesRoyal Rover1354S+S2S,3L,3L,3L,2SBarbary, Jade Rebellion, and Viking crew can serve on this ship.Bartholomew Roberts
013PiratesDelight513S+S3LRamming cannot eliminate this ship's masts..
014PiratesSea King1444S+L2S,3L,3L,2SIf this ship wins a boarding action, it can take as much treasure as it can carry.Bartholomew Roberts
015PiratesHispaniola834S+L3S,3L,3SThis ship may dock and explore a wild island in the same turn.John Silver
016PiratesCachalot1130S+S3S,3S,4SSea monster. This ship gets +1 on its cannon and boarding rolls against USA ships. See note 1..
017PiratesQuedagh Merchant925S+S2L,4SOne of this ship's treasures is worth +1 gold when she docks at your home island..
018PiratesUnity623S+S2S,2LThis ship gets +1 to her cannon rolls against Spanish ships..
019PiratesWilliam723S+L2S,3SYou may double the range of this ship's cannons each turn, but you must roll a 6 to hit.Calico Jack Rackham
020PiratesBartholomew Roberts5CrewCaptain. Cannoneer.Royal Rover, Sea King
021PiratesCalico Jack Rackham5CrewCaptain. Once per turn when this ship is given a shoot action, one of her cannons may shoot a stinkpot at a target within S. You must declare which cannon will shoot the stinkpot before rolling the d6. If the stinkpot hits, do not eliminate a mast; instead, the target's crew cannot use their abilities next turn.William
022aPiratesJohn Silver2CrewEnglish crew may serve on this ship.Hispaniola
022bPiratesFrederic2CrewThis ship gets +1 on its cannon rolls against English ships. If an English ship is touching this ship, Frederic will immediately leave the Pirate ship for the English ship, permanently become an English crew, and give +1 on cannon rolls against Pirate ships..
023EnglandHMS Victory1655L2S,2L,2L,2L,2SThis ship gets +1 on its cannon rolls against Spanish and French ships.Lord Nelson
024EnglandHMS Pickle512S+L4SThis ship ignores the first hit she takes each turn as long as she has all her masts..
025EnglandNessie1540S+S3S,3S,3S,3LSea monster. English ships within S may double their cannon ranges, but must roll a 6 to hit..
026EnglandGolden Hind1135S+S2S,3S,2SThis ship does not have to load any unique treasure unless you want to load it.Sir Francis Drake
027EnglandHMS Shannon933S+L3S,3L,3SAmerican ships get -1 to their cannon rolls against this ship..
028EnglandHMS Hotspur822S+S3L,3LThis ship gets +1 on her cannon and boarding rolls against the Cursed..
029EnglandMayflower424L3S,4LNone..
030EnglandHMS Logres923S+L2S,3LThis ship gets +1 on its cannon rolls against non-English ships..
031EnglandLord Nelson7CrewCaptain. Once per turn, roll a die. On a roll of 5-6, any one ship in your fleet may be given the same action twice.HMS Victory
032EnglandSir Francis Drake6CrewMusketeer. Once per turn, this ship may reroll one die roll; you must use the second die roll result.Golden Hind
033aEnglandJohn Benbow4CrewThis ship gets +1 to its cannon rolls against non-English ships.-
033bEnglandCloudesley Shovell6CrewMarine..
034SpainSantissima Trinidad1755S2S,2L,3L,2L,2SAll non-Spanish ships get -1 on their cannon rolls against this ship..
035SpainBustamante412L+L3SThis ship's base move becomes S when she reaches her cargo limit..
036SpainSenora de Atocha1148L4S,4S,4S,4SGalley. This ship sinks when its last mast is eliminated..
037SpainSanta Maria833S+S3S,3S,3SAfter looking at treasure on a wild island, you may trade any one treasure from that island for a random treasure on any other wild island. This ship must load the traded treasure.Cristobal Colon
038SpainPelayo735L3S,2L,3SNone..
039SpainZuniga624S+S3S,4LGalley. This ship gets +1 to its cannon and boarding rolls against English ships..
040SpainNina722S+L3S,3SThis ship can dock and explore a wild island in the same turn..
041SpainPinta623S+S3S,3LOnce per turn, this ship may move S after loading treasure..
042SpainCristobal Colon6CrewCaptain. Once per turn, if this ship is within S of an island, you may mark the island as explored without docking at it. It becomes unexplored in regard to all other players.Santa Maria
043SpainJuan Sebastian de Elcano7CrewHelmsman. This ship's crew cannot be eliminated unless she sinks.All Spanish ships
044aSpainIndigo Montoya6CrewOnce per turn when this ship is touching an enemy ship, you may choose one enemy crew on that ship and fight a duel. Each player rolls a die and adds the point value of his crew. Eliminate the crew with the lowest result. In case of a tie, roll again..
044bSpainDon Agustin Mexia5CrewMusketeer. Shipwright.-
045FranceLa Bucentaure1555S+S2S,2L,3L,2L,2SThis ship's S-range cannons remove two masts with one hit..
046FranceLe Magnanime811S+L2SThis ship's cannon can fire twice. Roll a die for each shot..
047FranceSaint-Esprit1444S+S2S,2L,2L,2LThe first time each turn that this ship hits with its cannons, instead of removing a mast, it leaves the enemy ship unable to move for one turn.Admiral de Grasse
048FranceLa Vengeur933S+L3S,2L,3SThis ship gets +1 on its cannon rolls and boarding rolls against English ships..
049FranceLe Souverain1233S+S3S,2L,3STwo hits from the same shoot action are required to eliminate one of this ship's masts..
050FranceHector923S+L3S,3LThis ship ignores the first hit she takes each turn as long as she has all her masts..
051FranceLa Diademe822S+S2S,2LThis ship can be given Repair orders while docked at a wild island..
052FranceLa Scipion524S+L4S,3LOne of this ship's treasures is worth -1 gold when you dock at your home island..
053FranceJean Bart6CrewOnce per turn before giving this ship an action, roll a d6. On a 5 or 6, this ship may be given the same action twice. This ship gets +1 on its boarding rolls.All French ships
054FranceAdmiral de Grasse7CrewCaptain. Once per turn, roll a d6. On a 5 or 6, this ship may be given an extra action.Saint-Esprit
055aFranceArmand of Kersaint3CrewWhen this ship is given a Repair action, roll a d6. On a 5 or 6, this ship repairs 2 masts instead of 1..
055bFranceComte de Tourville4CrewBroadsides Attack..
056USAUSS Essex1454S+S2S,2S,3S,2S,2SOn the turn this ship is pinned, eliminate one crew from the enemy ship..
057USAUSS Dolphin612S+L3LIf this ship carries no cargo, she gets +S to her base move..
058USAUSCGC Eagle1243S+L3S,3L,3L,3SThis ship gets +1 to her cannon rolls against Pirate ships..
059USAUSS Randolph1034S+S3S,2L,3SThis ship sinks when her last mast is eliminated..
060USALawrence1133S+S2L,3L,2SThis ship's cannons may not be eliminated (masts still may be). If derelict, she cannot shoot.Oliver Hazard Perry
061USAHyder Ali822S+S2S,3SThis ship gets +1 to its boarding rolls.Joshua Barney
062USAReprisal823S+L3S,3SOnce per turn, if this ship carries treasure and is within S of an enemy ship, you may randomly trade one treasure with that ship..
063USAUSS Cabot922S+L2S,2LSchooner..
064USAJoshua Barney7CrewCaptain. Once per turn, one ship or crew within S cannot use its ability for that turn.Hyder Ali
065USAOliver Hazard Perry6CrewFriendly ships within S of this ship get +1 to their cannon rolls.Lawrence
066aUSAEsek Hopkins3CrewThis crew takes up no cargo space when revealed. When revealed, put a crew with point cost 2 or less from outside the game onto this ship..
066bUSAJoshua Humphreys3CrewThis ship gets +L to its base move if no Helmsman crew are aboard..
067CursedCaptain/CannoneerTreasure; see note 2.
068PiratesCaptain/CannoneerTreasure
069EnglandCaptain/CannoneerTreasure
070SpainCaptain/CannoneerTreasure
071FranceCaptain/CannoneerTreasure
072USACaptain/CannoneerTreasure
073CursedHelmsman/MusketeerTreasure
074PiratesHelmsman/MusketeerTreasure
075EnglandHelmsman/MusketeerTreasure
076SpainHelmsman/MusketeerTreasure
077FranceHelmsman/MusketeerTreasure
078USAHelmsman/MusketeerTreasure
079CursedBoarder/ExplorerTreasure; see note 3.
080PiratesBoarder/ExplorerTreasure
081EnglandBoarder/ExplorerTreasure
082SpainBoarder/ExplorerTreasure
083FranceBoarder/ExplorerTreasure
084USABoarder/ExplorerTreasure
085CursedShipwright/OarsmanTreasure
086PiratesShipwright/OarsmanTreasure
087EnglandShipwright/OarsmanTreasure
088SpainShipwright/OarsmanTreasure
089FranceShipwright/OarsmanTreasure
090USAShipwright/OarsmanTreasure
091TreasureGiant Clam.Before loading this treasure, you must roll less than or equal to the number of crew on this ship. You may try again at the start of each turn. When this ship docks at its home island, roll a die and add 1; this is the giant clam's value in gold.
092TreasureOpal of Opa Locka.When unloaded at your home island, this treasure is worth as many gold as the number of masts on the ship that unloaded it.
093TreasureStaff of the Pharaohs.Load this treasure face down. Once per game, this ship can add +3 to its boarding roll; then remove Staff of the Pharaohs from the game.
094TreasureAegis Shield.This ship cannot be affected by unique treasures unless you permit it. This treasure cannot be unloaded.
095TreasureIvory.When unloaded, this treasure is worth as much as the most valuable treasure coin currently on the ship.
096TreasureMarooned.Choose one crew from this ship at random and place it on the wild island where the ship is docked. That crew can never be loaded onto this ship again. Remove Marooned from the game.
097MercenarySeawolf1433S+S3S,3L,4SSubmarine. When this ship rams an enemy ship and eliminates a mast, also eliminate one crew from that ship..
098MercenaryLord Gro1045S+S2S,3L,3L,2LSchooner. One of this ship's treasures is worth -1 gold when unloaded..
099aMercenaryCaptain3
099bMercenaryHelmsman2
099cMercenaryBoarder2
099dMercenaryExplorer1
Limited-Edition Ships in Tins (2 ships & 1 crew card per tin) (see note 7)
100NetherlandsDe Zeven Provincien1555S+S2S,3L,3L,3L,2SOnce per turn, one of this ship's cannons may shoot again if it misses.Michiel de Ruyter
101NetherlandsKortenaer512L+L2LNo ability..
102NetherlandsBrederode1244L2S,3L,3L,2SSchooner. Once per turn when this ship hits an enemy ship, also eliminate one crew from that ship..
103NetherlandsEendragt933S+S2S,3L,2SThis ship gets +1 on its cannon rolls against English ships..
104NetherlandsAgatha1133S+S2L,2L,2LThis ship gets +1 on its cannon rolls against Spanish ships..
105NetherlandsVrede1024S+L2S,3LThis ship ignores the first hit she takes each turn as long as she has all her masts..
106NetherlandsEvertsen723S+S2S,3LIf this ship shoots at a ship that was previously shot at by another ship this turn, she gets +1 to her cannon rolls against that ship this turn..
107NetherlandsSeeridder524S+L4S,4SThis ship gets -1 to its cannon rolls if it carries treasure..
108aNetherlandsMichiel de Ruyter6CrewCaptain. Once per turn, this ship may reroll one die roll. It must use the second roll.De Zeven Provincien
108bNetherlandsMaarten Tromp4CrewThis ship gets +1 on its cannon rolls against non-Dutch ships..
109aNetherlandsJacob van Heemskerk4CrewCaptain. Explorer.All Dutch ships
109bNetherlandsPiet Hein6CrewMarine..
110aNetherlandsCaptain3
110bNetherlandsShipwright2
110cNetherlandsHelmsman2
110dNetherlandsOarsman1
111aNetherlandsCannoneer2
111bNetherlandsExplorer1
111cNetherlandsBoarder2
111dNetherlandsMusketeer3
Special-Edition Ships (Value Boxes)
112FranceLe Citoyen1343S+S3S,3L,3L,3SThis ship gets +1 on its cannon rolls against non-French ships..
113SpainEl Rey Alfonso1344L3S,3L,3L,3SThis ship gets +1 on its cannon rolls against non-Spanish ships..
114FranceLe Languedoc1343S+S2S,3L,3L,3SSchooner. Once per turn, this ship can reroll one die roll; you must use the second die roll result..
115SpainEl Ladron Recto1644S+S4S,3L,3L,4SThis ship may dock at an enemy home island and load as much treasure as she can carry. If possible, she must leave on the following turn..
Mega-Pack Ships (see notes 4,5,6)
116CursedNirgle1433L2S,3S,4LWindcatcher. On the turn this ship is pinned, eliminate one mast and one crew from the enemy ship..
117PiratesBlackadder943L+L4S,4S,4S,4SClipper..
118EnglandCutty Sark1043S+S+S5S,5S,5S,5SClipper..
119SpainZaragosa1023L4L,2SBomb Ketch..
120FranceGuichen1022S+S4L,3SBomb Ketch..
121USAFlying Cloud942S+S+S5S,4S,4S,5SClipper..
Limited-Edition Ships (Tournament Prizes)
#???????I haven't defined these ships yet..

Notes:

  1. New ship type: Rogue Whale. This has three body parts (head, body, tail) in a row like a submarine's three hull parts. It follows the normal rules for sea monsters.
  2. All the generic crew abilities are defined in the rules as keywords. This means I don't have to print the generic crew abilities on the crew/treasure cards, which leaves room for two generic crew on each card instead of one.
  3. Boarder is a new kind of generic crew. If this ship wins a boarding action, the winner chooses whether to kill a crew or steal a treasure. The crew or treasure is chosen at random.
  4. The Mercenary keyword has been redefined. It now means that any nation's crew, except those with the Loyal keyword, can serve on a Mercenary ship, and Mercenary crew can serve on any ship unless a crew with the Loyal keyword is on that ship.
  5. New keyword: Clipper. Once per turn, this ship can move L after unloading treasure. (A Clipper is a 4-masted ship with unusually tall masts, and with studding-sails set.)
  6. New keyword: Bomb Ketch. This ship's foremast cannon can double its range, and nothing blocks that cannon's line of fire. That cannon cannot shoot at targets within S. (A Bomb Ketch is a 2-masted ship with a very short foremast.)
  7. The Dutch are what I call a micro-faction - 8 ships, 4 named crew, and 8 generic crew, all on 12 card numbers. Their variety isn't huge, but they're playable, and they should bring some happiness to the many Pirates players who have wanted to see a Dutch faction. The same method could be used to make Russians, Portuguese, or any other one-off faction that, for whatever reason, doesn't rate full-scale support in Pirates.

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